It's still hard to believe that someone as energetic and strong as Justin deteriorated so quickly in a year as a result of this cruel disease - pancreatic cancer. I think back to 2006 when Justin began to complain of abdominal pains and feel quite angry with myself for not realising the symptoms earlier, such as losing so much weight over a short space of time.
But of course, I'd never had to face this kind of illness before.
Looking back, I'm so proud of our relationship - Justin and I were so in love and were never afraid to show it. The precious time we had left together was so special but also intense and extremely painful. We both realised deep down the desperate reality of such a sad situation and it broke our hearts to know that one day we'd have to separate and let go. But we never gave up!
Originally, I had no intention of starting a charity in memory of Justin as I thought it was too painful an ordeal. I was content to grieve quietly. However, I felt the need to do 'something' and raise awareness for this particular type of cancer which lacks publicity due to its poor prognosis and aggressive nature.
This has only been possible with the loving support of family and friends - you know who you are.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting ‘Amser Justin Time' and I can assure you that every penny donated will go to the ‘Amser Justin Time' charity - to fund the essential research needed to support pancreatic cancer patients in Wales.
Love,
Mae dal yn anodd credu bod rhywun mor gorfforol gryf ag egniol a Justin wedi difa mor gloi o ganlyniad i'r cancr creulon yma - sef cancr y pancreas. Dwi'n meddwl n'ol i 2006 - pan ddechreuodd Justin achwyn am y boen - ag yn teimlo braidd yn grac a'n hunan oherwydd fy mod wedi bod mor araf yn adnabod un o symptomau amlwg y clefyd erchyll yma, sef colli pwyse difrifol mewn prin amser. Ond wrth gwrs, o ni erioed wedi gorfod wynebu'r fath dostrwydd o'r blaen.
Wrth edrych yn ol, dwi'n ymfalchio yn ein perthynas - odd Justin a finne mewn cariad llwyr ag yn benderfynol o neud y mwyaf o'n hamser prin da'n gilydd, er bod y cyfnod olaf yn boenus tu hwnt. Os ydw i'n hollol onest, odd y ddau ohonon ni yn ymwybodol o realiti creulon y sefyllfa ac yn torri'n calonne yn gwbod rhyw ddydd y bydde ni'n gorfod gwahanu a gadel fynd.
Ond o ni pallu rhoi mewn i'r clefyd ma!
Yn wreiddiol, doedd gennyf ddim bwriad cychwyn elusen er cof am Justin, dim ond galaru'n dawel bach. Ond ar ol meddylu roeddwn yn teimlo ei bod yn ddyletswydd arnai i ymdrechu i godi ymwybyddiaeth o'r math arbennig yma o gancr a thynnu sylw at glefyd sy'n dioddef o ddiffyg cyhoeddusrwydd oherwydd y prognosis gwael a'i natur creulon.
Gyda llaw, bydde ni ddim wedi cael yr egni i gychwyn y fath fenter oni bai am gefnogaeth teulu a ffrindie - chi'n gwbod pwy i chi.
Diolch o galon am gefnogi - a gallai'ch sicrhau bydd pob ceiniog sy'n cael ei gyfrannu yn mynd at elusen ‘Amser Justin Time' - i ariannu'r ymchwil parhaol ag angenrheidiol sy' angen i geisio concro'r clefyd creulon yma.
Cariad mawr,
